Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
they call him Oral-B. enough said
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
