All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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