Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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