They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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