And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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