Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
