He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
