i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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