We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Green mimosas i think yes
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
