Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
