I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
