I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
