Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
