So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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