So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
