Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
