Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
