i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
