hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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