The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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