I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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