I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
