just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My life is pants optional.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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