the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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