you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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