i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
