I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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