i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
