I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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