Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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