i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
