whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
zippers are such a cool invention
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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