I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i wish my penis had a tongue
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
