the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
