Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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