Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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