literally had 100 drinks last night.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
