he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
