AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
