mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
