well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
