Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
