Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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