Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
