let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
