The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
