We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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