If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he shaved USA in his pubs
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
