but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
