Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
