When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
